Blog Post 8 -Internship Stress and End of the Semester Swamping

This blog post is late because I had to make a video for an internship application that is very promising. I spent all weekend working on it, and my schoolwork ended up being shoved back a bit and left alone until that video was finished. Today I turned it in to the company doing the internship and deflated. I'm so glad I got that in on time. I am so so excited for this opportunity and I don't know how I'm going to last waiting on the next email from them. The next step is apparently an in person interview which is nerve-racking. I'm not the best at talking to people and I tend to come off kind of blunt and standoffish, which I don't want to come off as at this interview. But I still need to wait for an email saying I even made it to the in person interview section, so I'm going to leave that in the back of my mind for a while, at least until I know for sure I'll need to prepare more for it.

The video I made for the internship. My roommate Jada Hogg did most of the filming and was a great help planning shots.

But, now that that is over I can once again focus on my normal schoolwork, which includes this blog post. Nothing much has honestly really changed for me project wise or class wise, except that I really, really wish I had more time to spend on our schedule and asset list and shot list than I do. I feel like they're a bit behind, information wise, and I really want to and need to update them. But unfortunately I've found my time devoted more to final projects and essays from other classes. I don't want to work on any of that though, I just want to work on our thesis!!! We got a lot of notes from our Production Pass today and I feel like they'll leave my brain by the time I get to actually working on them. I don't want our project to fall behind after all.

I do feel sick of editing and changing the storyboard though. I am not a storyboard type person. Not my area of expertise. So I would really like to just move on from it already so we can get into the actual meat of our film, and complete our layout animatic by the end of the semester so that we for sure stay on track. I understand and don't mind that we still need to remain on our storyboard and work on it, but that doesn't mean it's not driving me up the wall that we're stuck on this for so long. We came into this semester with a fully formed storyboard, for gods sake!!! I'm sick of seeing the damn thing!! Sick of analyzing it, sick of editing it, sick of trying to figure out if things need to be changed.

I thought it was perfect 4 weeks ago, and I am not the best at tiny subtle changes or processing things more times than I can count. I have a good memory. And I know not everyone does, and that I have a better memory than most people even, but it's so boring!!! Everything is repetitive and then when people ask for clarification or say they don't understand anything or whatever, I get so frustrated because they LITERALLY SAW IT THREE WEEKS AGO!!!! How terrible is your memory that you don't remember a storyboard you've seen less then a month before??? And we keep getting repeating comments on what to change and how to change them in different little ways and we're obviously working on them, yeah, but I'm so tired of hearing, "Well, your storyboard isn't clear enough." Literally. Every. Standup meeting. Production Pass. Etc. I HATE repetition of redundant statements and it drives me up the wall. We get it, our storyboard isn't clear, move ON!!!! I don't see any of the critiques we've been getting in the storyboard anyways!!! Which is why I'm not the one working on it, of course, but I legitimately see almost NONE of the critiques we've been given. I'm just salty and sick of hearing the same thing over and over I guess. . .

Now that I have sufficiently ranted my frustration out, I am hoping this weekend I can work on the documents enough that I'll be happy with the point they are at. I wanna take a good 4-6 hours and just go over each document slowly, methodically, and structurally, cross referencing with my group members and our class schedule and syllabus. Make them nice and understandable for everyone else, so that no one is stuck doing nothing or is confused on what is going on. I also need to do this because I currently have no marking for how far along we are time wise vs the end of the semester and the point at which we should be getting at. We were two weeks ahead just 2 weeks ago, but now I feel like we're sedentary, like not much has changed. So I need to see if we've wasted those two weeks or not and are now only just on track, or maybe even behind!!!

End of the semester is always difficult though, and I have the added pressure of getting that internship added to the top of my plate as well. So of course I'm going to be a little heightened and a little behind. I really wish I could accept that, mentally. Logically everything I've just written is true, but I can't seem to accept that. Annoying. Everything is annoying. The world is stupid and slow and too loud today. I'm sick of it. Probably should just stop here, since I don't have anything else to say.